What Matters Most in Life

Welcome to the Inner Edge, where I explore insights on wealth, fulfillment, growth, and mastery.

My dad and I just completed a four-day meditation/awareness retreat.

Four days of no phone, books or pretty much any form of usual entertainment.

It was a pretty random decision.

My dad found out about the retreat and I thought it could be a good way to bond with him.

But, it was unlike anything I experienced.

This wasn’t one of those silent retreats. It still had activity, just not much.

Right on Day 1, I started thinking:

What am I doing here? What’s happening in the world? How many emails am I missing?

But by the end, something shifted. The noise in my head faded.

And slowly, this experience helped me start seeing things more clearly.

Presence started kicking in.

Not having any entertainment is like losing a part of your mind.

I kept reaching my pockets for my phone, only to realize I didn’t have it on me.

Unconscious habit, oops. Time to move on to my thoughts.

I would zone out or think about random topics/ideas.

But slowly, that too began to fade.

By Day 2, something unexpected happened.

I stopped being in my mind.

For the first time in a long time, there was nothing pulling my attention away from the moment.

No thoughts about work or anything else.

And I know it’s hard to comprehend this without fully knowing what we were doing at the retreat (don’t want to spoil too much in case someone goes).

What mattered was that there absolutely little entertainment.

At first, it was weird.

I do all my work on my laptop and phone.

So not having them was like I was missing a part of me.

But I realized, they weren’t parts of me.

In fact, a lot of things that I thought were me weren’t me (more on that later).

Because as we sat in presence, everything else stopped mattering.

The 4 days there were spent fully focusing on what was right in front of us.

And in that stillness, the first thing I started seeing through were all the layers of conditioning we carry.

Society conditions us to build layers of protection.

• Our careers.

• Our appearance.

• Our opinions and beliefs.

• Our social groups and status.

These layers become our identity.

But they also become armor.

They’re like ways we protect ourselves from rejection and vulnerability.

But when you’re fully present, those layers start fading.

It’s like they don’t matter much anymore.

It no longer matters what someone does for work or how they look.

Instead, you start seeing people for who they really are.

You see beyond their stories and defenses.

And your own defenses come down too.

And in that presence, you truly connect with people and hear their stories.

There were people who were there for the meditation and others who had endured hardship in their life.

That’s another reason why presence and no judgment is so beautiful.

You never truly know what someone is going through.

And as I went through the program, I felt something so strongly.

When you live life with presence, you start to see people for who they really are.

And who they really are is just the same as who you really are.

A human being.

It was interesting being around people who were double/triple my age.

One thing I kept hearing in their stories was how life changed them as they got older.

The things they thought mattered didn’t, and the things they took for granted, mattered the most.

Things they thought that mattered, but didn’t:

• Chasing social status

• Caring too much about appearance

• Making money just to fill a void

Things they took for granted:

• The people who actually love them

• The moments of real connection

• Their own inner peace

There’s nothing wrong with enjoying the things that “didn’t matter”.

But attachment to them is what creates suffering.

Because the truth is that it all ends.

One day, the parties won’t feel the same.

One day, your youth is going to go away.

One day, you’ll realize chasing validation doesn’t make you feel any better.

But if you just observe and don’t cling, you can enjoy things without being controlled by them.

I realized that presence is about this balance.

It’s about experiencing everything fully, but holding onto nothing.

And those things you overlook now? The people, the moments, the simple joys?

One day, they won’t just matter.

They’ll be everything.

Because life happens and people change. And time moves faster than you think.

So don’t wait until loss or regret forces you to wake up.

Cherish the people who actually care. Invest in the things that last.

And work on yourself now—so you don’t wake up one day wondering where it all went.

And these aren’t just my words—this is life experience from every older person there.

Think About the Happiest Moments in Your Life.

Maybe it was when you were a kid at an amusement park or in college during orientation week.

During those moments, were you analyzing yourself?

Were you thinking about how you looked or what came next?

No.

You were just there.

The joy wasn’t just in the roller coasters or the people. It was in the presence.

And that’s what this retreat gave me. A small glimpse of life in its purest form.

I try to structure my days to be fully present.

I always ask myself, what feels fun to me so I can fully be present with it? 

But I know you can’t always optimize life exactly how you want it.

I read something beautiful somewhere.

Pain and suffering both happen. Pain is inevitable, but suffering only happens based on how you choose to respond to that pain.

And I think it’s great optimizing your life. But it’s also beautiful to let life flow as it is.

In life, there are things you have to do (including work) where it’s just not the most fulfilling.

If you’re able to replace those things, great.

But if not, then learning to be more present in that is what will make things flow well.

Think back to why certain days felt so good.

Chances are, it’s because you were fully in the moment.

And like I said, that’s easy to do when you love your work and enjoy the people you’re with.

But at the retreat, there was none of that to shift my focus to.

I usually experience presence through work, writing, talking to friends/family or working out.

All those things were gone.

And I won’t lie, that was pretty tough at first.

But slowly, it started getting better.

Which is why I think, no matter what situation you’re in, it is possible.

In that stillness, life revealed itself.

Walking in nature felt amazing, looking at someone else felt so profound and food tasted so good.

I know how easily we lose sight of what’s right in front of us when things aren’t going our way.

But this retreat taught me that you can still feel that without having that “dream” life.

Even though it’s still great to strive for it.

I also realized how the mind is always playing its tricks instead of letting us fully experience the moment…

“Why am I even doing this?”

“Maybe I should’ve made different choices.”

“When will things finally get better?”

These are all questions that pop up in some form or another.

But the thing is, we are usually either regretting the past or anticipating the future.

As comfortable as they may feel, they’re just patterns you’re stuck to.

The past is just memories that are distorted by the mind.

The future is just possibilities that aren’t real yet.

The only thing that actually exists is this moment.

The moment you break out of thought patterns, life becomes wonderful.

Most people believe they’ll be happy once things improve.

Once I get a better job.

Once I make more money.

Once I find the right relationship.

But what if nothing needed to change for you to actually be happy?

What if the only reason you feel stuck is because you aren’t fully present in where you are?

You don’t have to love your job.

But if you’re fully immersed in it, you’ll do it better and suffer less.

You don’t have to love every situation.

But resisting it makes it feel worse than it is.

You don’t have to force yourself to be happy.

But if you stop rejecting this moment, peace comes naturally.

And you can still work towards whatever that ideal life may be for you.

I like how Ed Mylett puts it.

He calls it blissful dissatisfaction.

Being blissful in the moment and still being dissatisfied with where you are.

Overall, this retreat showed me of what truly matters in life:

• Being present with loved ones.
  You never know the last day you’ll see them. The last time you’ll wish you could say “I love you” one more time.

• Being present with what you do.
  Fully experiencing your work and play. Even if you don’t love it, presence makes everything better.

• Being present with food and water.
  Just being grateful for the things that literally sustain you.

• Being present with yourself.
  Not overanalyzing. Not getting lost in thoughts. Just experiencing life as it is.

I know it’s easy to be present at a retreat when you’re away from distractions.

The real challenge is definitely staying present in everyday life, especially when things get tough.

But it can be done.

In fact, you probably lived this way as a kid.

Just enjoying the moments, regardless of what was happening.

This isn’t something you have to learn.

You just have to peel back the layers to feel it again.

Think about this:

The trees don’t rush to grow.

The rivers don’t force their direction.

The food you eat was nurtured by the earth, the sun, and time itself.

Everything is unfolding effortlessly in the present.

Life doesn’t resist.

Only we do.

But when you let go, you move with it instead of against it.

And just like that, everything shifts.

And when you’re truly present, something interesting happens.

• Opportunities come naturally.

• The right people appear.

• Things begins to unfold in a way you never noticed before.

So it really doesn’t matter about your past or the mistakes you made.

All that matters is that you are present now.

Because when you are in the now, you are no longer moving against the current.

You’re in synchronicity with life itself.

Thanks for reading as always :)