Self-Reliance is the Only Superpower That Matters

Welcome to the Inner Edge, where I explore insights on wealth, fulfillment, growth, and mastery.

One of the greatest lessons I've learned is that no one is coming to save you.

I used to hear this all the time: Nobody is coming to save you. You're on your own.

Yeah, right.

My parents helped me with everything when I was a kid.

They’re surely going to be there for me?

And my friends I grew up with—they were always by my side.

They’ll help me for the rest of my life.

And I know people can see my good heart. They’re going to see how kind I am and give me opportunities.

To a certain extent, all these things are true:

• Your parents are going to help you… as much as they can.

• Your friends will be there by your side… as much as they can.

• People will see your good heart and give you opportunities… as much as they can.

I highlight “as much as they can” because it’s important.

Because here’s the truth:

Everyone has their own life to live. 

No matter how much they care about you, they will not (and cannot) put their life on hold to carry you through yours.

How could they?

And let’s just say you expect them to.

You’re basically setting yourself up for disappointment.

Let me share an example.

Let’s pretend a friend asks you for money.

You give it. They keep asking and you keep giving.

At first, it feels good to help.

You think you’re being generous. But slowly things start shifting.

They stop trying to figure things out on their own.

Every time they need money, they come to you.

And it’s not because they can’t make money, but because you’ve made it easier for them not to.

What happens when you say no?

They feel betrayed and you feel guilty.

And suddenly your friendship tanks. No more mutual respect.

Because when you do for someone what they should be doing for themselves, you don’t help them.

You literally cripple them.

And this applies to every area of life.

If you constantly lean on others to save you, you never build the strength to stand on your own.

And if people do keep saving you, they’re not actually helping you.

They’re just delaying the moment when you finally have to face yourself. And it’ll probably be worse when you get to that point.

So at some point, you have to decide:

Do you want to be dependent on others or do you want to be unstoppable?

That is how you build their character.

And that is another reason why no one will come save you.

Because learning yourself and building your character is the game.

That’s what’s going to ultimately feel so much better than having people save you.

You just have to experience it.

Think back to a time when you pushed through something on your own.

Maybe it was in middle school when you came up with that answer that no one else did. Felt insane, right?

That feeling right there is real confidence. 

That’s proof that you don’t need saving. You just need to keep going.

There are also other drawbacks to thinking someone is going to save you like:

• You’ll be depressed, anxious, sad, or delusional if they don’t.

• If they do save you, you’ll learn start relying on them. And if they become unreliable? Then what?

So, isn’t it easier to figure things out on your own?

You can still seek guidance and learn from others, but know that no one is going to come complete your life for you.

That’s your job.

I have a silly story around this.

I used to believe that on sales calls, people would see how good of a person I was and automatically want to work with me. That they would just hand me their money and save me from my financial worries.

That was flawed thinking.

Sure, people like working with good people, but they also want results.

People joined my sales calls because they wanted the benefit of my marketing services.

I had to figure that part out myself.

I had to build a creator team and deliver exceptional creative results.

It wasn’t easy, but that’s the sacrifice I had to make to actually make money.

And it took work. A lot of it.

Here’s another one.

I thought I could magically get to my goals by connecting with mentors who were far ahead of me. Like they’d just gift me $1M or connect me to all the right people.

Sadly, it didn’t happen.

And why would it?

If they thought I was a good person, they might talk to me more, but if I wanted them to help me make money, I needed to actually work on making money. Not just show them how nice I was.

I think this principle applies to all areas of life.

We think someone will come give us everything we need.

That one day everything will change and magically click.

But the truth is, it won’t.

And it sounds harsh, but it’s pretty liberating.

What’s the point in having someone else map out your entire life?

Life is about figuring it out as you go.

It’s about learning lessons and making mistakes. And putting in the work yourself for whatever it is you want.

Besides, how could someone even save you?

They don’t even know what you want.

Heck, you might not even know what you want.

But that’s exactly where to start.

Figure out where you want to go.

Who do you want to be?

Start at the end.

Imagine yourself at 80 years old looking back at your life. What do you regret? What are you proud of? What would that version of you beg you to do differently right now?

And if you don’t know then go find out.

Go ask people who are where you want to be.

If you want to be a lawyer, go ask a lawyer what it’s actually like.

Go try things.

Challenge every assumption you’ve made about your own path.

Interrogate your own desires.

• Why do you want to go into that career? Is it because you truly love it, or because you think it will make you respected? Or because your parents expected it?

• Why do you want to live in that city? Is it because it excites you, or because you think it should be the next step?

• Why do you want to make a million dollars? Is it for freedom or because you think it will finally make you feel enough?

• Why do you chase the things you chase?

• What are you even optimizing for?

If you spend your life chasing things you never questioned…

You’ll wake up one day realizing you never even wanted them.

But once you understand your own game, everything changes.

Because when you finally start playing at a different level

People won’t come to save you…

Because they never could.

It was always on you.

And now you finally see it…

You were always the one meant to do the saving.