- Letters of Wonder
- Posts
- The Door You’re Afraid to Open Holds Everything You Want
The Door You’re Afraid to Open Holds Everything You Want
Srikar Karra
March 09, 2025
Welcome to the Inner Edge, where I explore insights on wealth, fulfillment, growth, and mastery.
I was recently reflecting on a relationship that ended.
For years, I cherished this person.
But there was something we both knew.
We were both about to go our separate ways in career.
We didn't have a plan for the future.
Instead of talking about the important topic of what to do next, I resisted it.
I told myself it was easier to avoid it.
That if we didn’t talk about it, maybe we wouldn’t have to face the inevitable.
But avoidance doesn’t stop reality. It only delays it.
Over time, the relationship faded, not because of a single moment, but because of everything left unsaid.
Looking back, I knew the resistance was there for a reason.
I avoided the conversation because deep down, I knew what it meant—facing the truth, making a decision, and stepping into the unknown.
But resistance isn’t a stop sign.
It’s actually a signal that you have a chance to massively improve your life.
Because on the other side of that resistance is a life that is so much better than the one you knew before.
You just have to get to the other side of it to see that.
I used to think being stuck in this state of resistance (aka avoiding the hard choice to make) would make things easier.
That if I just let things play out, the discomfort would fade.
And everything would beautifully work itself out.
But that’s not how life works.
If I had faced that conversation head-on, I could have parted ways with clarity instead of uncertainty.
Maybe we would have found a way forward.
Or maybe we wouldn’t have.
But at least we wouldn’t have drifted into silence.
And that would have given me much more clarity into what was actually meant for me in my life.
Lesson: avoidance doesn’t prevent pain—it just delays it.
That’s just one scenario.
There are many areas of our lives where we actively avoid the things we know we shouldn’t.
Think back to the first time you made a real friend.
Maybe it was the first day at a new school, and you didn’t know anyone.
You stood there, debating whether to just keep to yourself.
They probably already have their own friends.
What if they think I’m weird?
What if I say something dumb?
Everything in you wanted to avoid it.
But then, either you took the first step, or they did.
“Hey, what’s your name?”
And just like that, you guys started talking.
You might have had a small conversation about some random thing. Maybe sports, video games or a teacher you both hated.
It could have been literally anything.
And just like that, the resistance you faced was gone.
That moment (the one you almost avoided) was the start of something amazing.
Now think about today:
What’s the thing you’re resisting?
What if, just like back then, stepping through it could change everything?
The Science Behind It
Your brain is literally wired to avoid pain.
Our ancestors spent their time figuring out how to avoid the next lion that was going to eat them.
The amygdala (the fear center of the brain) perceives uncertainty as a potential threat.
The prefrontal cortex (rational thinking) knows what’s right, but the fear signal overrides it.
And naturally over time, this carried down to us.
But you can flip that.
In modern life, the threats we avoid are rarely life-threatening.
If you have that hard conversation, that person isn't going to kill and eat you (or at least, let's hope so).
Avoidance is a mis-calibrated fear response.
Now obviously, you shouldn’t do whatever you want.
You can't go over the top and defy society.
You may not get killed, but you'll likely end up in jail or something.
But doing the uncomfortable things (that you know you have to do) will lead to a lot of growth.
Most of the time, your brain isn’t protecting you—it’s only keeping you from evolving.
A Framework to Incorporate
Where in your life are there thresholds?
The things you are actively avoiding, but know you should be stepping through.
Ask yourself this question to improve your life significantly.
Here are a few thresholds most of us avoid:
Having a hard conversation – The one that could change everything for you.
Making a tough decision – The thing that forces you to choose growth over comfort.
Admitting the truth – Even when you already know it deep down.
Taking a risk – A leap of uncertainty that could lead to something bigger.
Walking away – From a relationship, job, or situation that no longer serves you.
A Beautiful Story
Nelson Mandela was a man who had every reason to be filled with rage.
For 27 years, he lived inside a tiny 8x7 foot cell on Robben Island—cut off from the world, isolated from his family, and forced into brutal hard labor under the burning South African sun.
The crime he faced was because of standing up against the apartheid.
Apartheid wasn’t just a system of oppression—it was a deliberate effort to strip millions of Black South Africans of their humanity.
They were denied basic rights, forced into segregation, and lived under the constant threat of violence and imprisonment.
Mandela became a threat to the government because he refused to accept this reality. He led protests, mobilized resistance, and became a symbol of defiance.
So they locked him away.
For nearly three decades, the world outside changed.
His children grew up without him.
The movement he fought for evolved.
The South African government continued its oppression.
But Mandela remained behind bars.
Most people—after enduring this level of injustice—would walk out of prison with only one thing on their mind: revenge.
And nobody would have blamed him.
But Mandela chose to do something else.
During his time in prison:
He secretly studied, debated politics with fellow prisoners.
He even learned the Afrikaans language—the language of his oppressors.
And while in prison, he negotiated with the very people who imprisoned and oppressed him.
On February 11, 1990, Mandela was released from prison.
Most people—after being imprisoned for 27 years—would be pissed.
But Mandela wasn’t. In fact, he was happy.
Through maintaining composure, he decided to run for South Africa’s first free elections in 1994.
And he actually won.
What he did next shocked the world.
Instead of taking revenge on the apartheid government, Mandela incorporated them into his government.
The people who tortured him. Now working alongside him.
He then did something even crazier.
During a mostly white crowd at a Rugby game, he put on the team’s green and gold jersey—a symbol of the apartheid regime.
And the stadium went crazy.
You see, Mandela had decided to step through the threshold.
He could have easily chose revenge. But he fought to get to the root of the issue.
He knew he could have taken revenge or punished people, but that wasn’t the goal.
The goal was to live in truth and to spread equality to all.
So he faced the resistance he felt head on.
And channeled it into his goal of equality.
And his actions changed the future of the nation.
Huddling under the blankets is resistance.
It’s avoiding discomfort, delaying action, choosing temporary warmth over real growth.
But life doesn’t move forward in avoidance.
It moves when you do.
Progress comes from stepping into the hard things.
Because everything beautiful is on the other side.
Reflection
1. What is the one thing I’ve been avoiding that, if I faced it today, could change my life?
2. If I knew for certain that everything I want is on the other side of discomfort, what would I stop resisting?
3. Five years from now, will I regret avoiding this moment—or will I be grateful I stepped through it?
How much did you enjoy this read? |
